FD

• Describe the factors which have drawn you to Judaism.


I was an Evangelical Christian. When I was about 30 yrs old, I decided to understand more who Jesus was, but not in the traditional way, I wanted to know more about him as a person. I wanted to understand what he thought, his cultural environment, his historical reality, because I felt that, without these information, something of essential was lacking.
Of course I had to start to study Israel, and here something of strange happened, which I cannot really explain. From the first moment I approached the subject, I had both a psychological and physical reaction. I know it sounds strange, but it is true. I was happy. I had something like a flame in my heart. I did not understand why but the more I learned, the more I loved Israel.
I became a Christian Zionist but at the time I did not even know that something like that existed. But I was one, unaware of that, but I was, absolutely.
I became more active in the defense of Israel on the web. I created the first Christian Zionist website in Italy, it was absolutely the first one. It was called A Heart for Israel, and it still exists, even if I do not manage it anymore. I published all the info I found to create a better image of Israel, and I translated from many magazines such as The Jerusalem Post, Ha’Aretz etc. But when my marriage collapsed I had to try to rebuild a life in ruins so I left the website to two dear friends of mine who are still managing it.
I had to face the pain of my divorce and it was not an easy task. It took a long time. During these years I went to Israel for the first time. I remember two things. First, the strange but so intense physical sensation I had in front of the Wall, like a blow on my face, a flood of energy and an instant attraction, I HAD TO touch those stones and I never wanted to leave them.
Second, the strange healing power that Israel had on me. My broken heart was cured there, in ways which once again I find difficult to describe.
I have come back to Israel several times. I also volunteered in the Israeli army through the Sar El and it was an amazing experience which I plan to repeat.
Then, all I can say is that for many years, nearly 14, I have studied and researched about Israel and Judaism. It took a long time to reflect well about me and to understand who I really was, to find also the strength to stand for what I believed and to understand that I was able to live MY life. There has been many obstacled to overcome but now I can say that what has drawn me to Judaism , essentially, was myself. I was drawn to Judaism because I am made in a certain way, because of the things that I love, because of the dreams that I dream, because of the books I read and because of many others cicumstances. I could tell thousands of anecdotes but it would be really long and boring. I hope I have been able to explain at least partially what I feel.


• Which Jewish values do you find most appealing and persuasive?

Bechirah Chofshit -- freedom of choice / the Jewish philosophical assumption that all human beings have the ability to freely choose actions, and are responsible for those choices.

I find that this is particularly important and fascinating, as it constitutes the basis of all the modern values such as democracy. But it is appealing because it gives both freedom and responsibility for it. It is a burden of an immense value and personally I could not live without it.


Chesed, Rachamin - compassion, especially for those who are disadvantaged or vulnerable.
"Thus has the Lord of hosts spoken, saying: Execute true judgment, and show mercy and compassion every man to his brother," Zech. 7

This is so important, in every single circumstance. And it is not a Christian invention.

Hocheach Tocheach – “you shall rebuke” / the obligation to be a social critic when you see that society or individuals are making terrible mistakes; social criticism is an expression of care for others.

This choice is connected with my personal story and my country story. I owe to Israel also my interest for politics and this is why I became involved nad I was elected in the last elections in my small town to be a meber of the city council. We are trying our best to try to save my country from what it sounds like one of the darkest moments of its history.

Tikkun Olam

This is for me the value of all values. It is comforting to think that no act, even if minimal, is so small for not contributing to put things right. This value gives me energy in pursueing what is right.


• How is Judaism more appropriate for you than your former religion or worldview?

It is difficult to explain also, but Judaism represents, for me, my growth. No vicarious. No excuses. Me. My choices. My responsibilities. Me and G-d. Me and Him in a dialogue where I am myself, with my shortcomings, and His ways to run, once again, in His arms. No excuses. Me and His law, me and His words. He has been clear. I will be, too.

• Describe your understanding of and relationship to God.

I know that I had a relationship with G-d also when I was a Christian. A relationship is a relationship, a mutual exchange. But the relationship with G-d, like any other relationship, like a friendship, it has its rules. If I care for my relationship, I will try my best to follow the rules, and if sometimes I am not able to, well I will apologize and try my best to start again in the best way I can.
The relationship with G-d is for me different from the others in this respect: He is essential for me. It is basic for my life. How many times I was alone, but He never left me. He was always there for me. He is more essential for me than anyone else.
I am going to get married again, but I have been single for a long time. I was a single mother. I did everything alone and I could count only on myself. I have learned to live without anybody-but I cannot imagine to lose Him. It would be unbelievable and also, impossible because even when I do not speak He is there with me.

• How has your personal and home life changed because of Jewish tradition? How do you see your Jewish life progressing in the future?

Of course I had to do all the necessary adjustments. I became vegetarian because in this way it has been more simple for me to follow the rules of kasherut, and also because I think it is a healthier lifestyle. My son and I started to do Shabbath and actually it was pleasant to enjoy those peaceful moments. Everything was quiet and we did a lot of things together that before we never were able to find time for. My family-I mean my mother and brothers who are not living with me- were not so surprised ans they saw it arriving.
I plan to do a mitzvath at a time, step by step. I plan to learn better Hebrew and to sudy and read more Torah. And when I will get married again I will pray with my whole family and attend the synagogue and be active there, it will be a bliss and another bond which I never experienced before.

• Describe your sens of identification with the Jewish people in relation to Israel, world Jewry, the local Jewish community and your synagogue.

I have already described at the beginning of this essay what are my feelings for Israel and fr Jews. I can tell it in a few words: I love them. I can’t help it. I have demonstrated it. I have created my website-and I got tons of threatening emails after that. I have always done my hasbarà on the web. And I have tried my best to defend Israel even in its army. I could not be a regular member but I could do something. And I did it. I was not afraid, I was proud, I was happy and I found it a privilege to help that country and its wonderful people.
A detail. My best friends happen to be Jewish: Letizia hava Lehmann and Franca Spizzichino. And also the man who I want near me for my life.

I identificate with Jewish people because I love them. I cannot explain in other ways my identification.

• What is your commitment to prayer, Shabbat and keeping kosher?

I tell my prayers when I wake upa, when I go to sleep and sometimes during the day. About Kasherut, as I said I became vegetarian and in this way it is simple to keep kosher, I do it without thinking too much about it. Shabbat is more difficult, sometimes it is a struggle to put aside all the things that need to be done, nad the job worries etc. I will try my best to improve this part.


• How do you plan to continue your jewish study?

I am setting up a Jewish library and I want to continue to read and study as much as possible. The next time I go to Israel I will study with my friend who lives in Hebron, he is a kazan and he studies there near the Abraham’s grave. I plan to stay and study with him a bit because he is very deep in Jewish studies. He is also very Orthodox and maybe we do not agree on many things but I can learn a lot from him. I want to study more Isaiah because it is my preferred book.