From LL

Esynagogue.org

ESSAY FOR CONVERSION CANDIDACY

1. Describe the factors which have drawn you to Judaism.

All my life I had asked myself the questions: Why am I here; what’s my reason for living? Judaism gave me the answers. I grew up in a secular family that never pushed any religion upon me. I had visited churches but never felt at ease or at home in them and it wasn’t until I met my husband that I started to take my faith seriously and wanted to draw closer to my Creator. We tried a couple churches but always had questions that the minister couldn’t answer and we were just told to believe what they said and be quiet. I wanted the truth, the real thing. I wanted to know my Creator spiritually and intellectually and understand the truth of Hashem’s words of instruction and wisdom. After years of study showed us that what we had been taught was full of contradictions and lies, I still felt like I didn’t have my answers. But what also was happening over the years of study was that my husband and I were being drawn in our spirits to start observing Jewish practices like keeping the Sabbath, eating kosher and keeping the High Holidays. I couldn’t understand why I was being drawn more and more towards Judaism. After one of our friends gave us some material which proved to us how Christianity was a lie and pointed us in the direction of Judaism, I was scared, sad and angry for being lied to all my life. But the last emotion was joy; joy for seeing the life, hope and promise in Judiasm. My soul felt like it had been reborn. I began getting answers to all my hard questions. Judaism is not a religion – it is a way of life, Hashem’s wisdom teachings coming to life for me! And I wanted more and began becoming more and more observant. Then I was contacted by distant cousin on my Mother’s side who got me looking into my family heritage on both sides where I found out I was Jewish, but the assimilations happened 3-4 generations back. I couldn’t get any paperwork for proof and my families had been living secular lives and had converted to another religion or left Judaism altogether. So the only step I can do to proudly admit I am Jewish and identify with my people and have proof that I am part of the covenant between Hashem and His chosen nation was to go through a formal conversion process.

Judaism’s strong commitment to community and humility are only a few of the reasons which have drawn me to it. I love the honesty of the Torah and the mitzvoth and I have never felt so right in my spirit or soul until I began to follow Judaism. Judaism has answers for those living thousands of years ago and still is very relevant to today’s society. It didn’t matter to me that some of my family or friends may not understand or turn away. I pray for Jews around the world and love the land of Israel and hold the Torah the most precious item in my home. Judaism changed my life and the Torah’s wisdom guides my life and I could no more walk away from Judaism than I could walk away from the Almighty.

2. Which Jewish values do you find most appealing and persuasive?

The fact that the Torah is intellectually based – not emotionally based - was one of the most persuasive aspects for me. The way the Jewish people are dedicated to prayer and study and your love of family, community and acts of kindness and charity is very appealing to me. The sanctity of marriage and the loving care of the deceased is awesome. The focusing on how to live a proper and good life and not dwelling on the after life like so many religions do is one of the most appealing values to me also. Judaism is such a simple, loving no-nonsense way of life and yet there is so many layers of wisdom in the Torah that one never reaches the limits of learning and growing.

3. How is Judaism more appropriate for you than your former religion or worldview/lifestyle?

I pretty much was involved in Christianity for a few years which focused mainly on the New Testament. Since studying Torah and seeing where Christianity has manipulated and changed the Torah, I have renounced any
Christian beliefs. Christians say the Torah or law is done away with and that their New Testament overrides the Torah, both which are complete lies. Knowing that I am Jewish, I cannot have anything to do with idol worship. One cannot be Jewish and believe that Jesus is the Messiah, god in the flesh or that the Messiah has come. Judaism/Torah is the true communication from Hashem and I want to stand before Him in truth and righteousness. Judaism has brought me closer to Hashem than any other point in my life and my lover for Hashem is a very serious part of my life.

4. Describe your understanding of and relationship to God.

God is the creator of everything and His spark in is all things. He is the Ein Sof and humans can not fully understand Him but we are given His direction in the words of Torah. God loves His creation and wants to bless us if we will just live by His wisdom morally and justly. My ancestors stood at Mt. Sinai and entered into a covenant with Him.

My relationship to God means I am to study Torah, continue to learn and gain wisdom, follow His commandments and try to be a light unto the nations. By being committed to prayer I can affect Tikkun Olam and help to hasten the coming of Messiah. I am to support my husband, keep a Jewish household, love Hashem with all my heart, mind and strength and be kind to my fellow man.

5. How has your personal and home life changed because of Jewish tradition? How do you see your Jewish life progressing in the future?

My home is filled with Jewish items and we observe all the High Holidays. I listen to Jewish audio teachings every day for 1-3 hours and read Torah or Jewish related articles every day also. I follow many rituals to the best of my abilities. My husband and I have opened our home to Torah study on Sabbath and have held several holiday gatherings in our home also. I have started learning how to read Hebrew and can say several prayers and blessings in Hebrew. I now help an elderly blind widowed lady every week by washing her clothes, running errands for her and spending time talking as friends.

I see my Jewish progression to include becoming even more observant, more kosher, continuing to learn Hebrew until I am proficient in it and planning on some day living in a Jewish community and/or making Aliyah to Israel.

6. Describe your sense of identification with the Jewish people in relation to Israel, world Jewry, the local Jewish community and your synagogue.

I feel a strong affiliation with Israel and the Jewish nation and am proud to be Jewish. We send donations when we can to Jewish causes. Whenever I watch documentaries on the Holocaust I have such a sense of empathy and sadness that I can’t help but cry for all the Jewish souls that were lost. I pray for peace in Israel.

I feel a sense of peace like I am with family whenever I am with Jewish people. I am uncomfortable being around my old friends now and do not like the way the gentiles or the world act. I don’t feel like I can be myself or talk about the most important thing to me (Judaism/Hashem) out in today’s world. I cannot condone the world’s values and they certainly don’t line up with Jewish values.

I feel a kinship with the few Jewish people we have in our area and would love to have a bigger community. It breaks my heart that our synagogue has been sold to the gentiles and is only used on High Holidays. We do all we can to donate our time and personal items to assist the President of our Synagogue. Our hope is that some day soon we will be able to move to a Jewish community where we can learn through example too.

It is very sad that the birth rate of the Jewish nation is falling and that so many Jews in America are assimilating and becoming secular. I read all I can on Israel and the Jewish communities around the world and rejoice when many Jews make Aliyah.

7. What is your commitment to prayer, Shabbat and keeping kosher?

Every morning I pray the Modeh Ani prayer, the Netilat Yadayim hand washing prayer, the blessing when putting on my Talit and the Shacharit prayers. I recite the Shema every morning and evening with my husband. I say the food blessings after each meal. I say the Sabbath candle blessing every Sabbath. I say special prayers for blessings, healings or thanksgiving from my Women’s Siddur as needed. I plan on adding the Minchah prayers and memorizing more prayers in Hebrew.

We light Sabbath candles and have Kiddush on Friday evening and perform Havdalah on Saturday evening. We do no work or commerce on the Sabbath. We study, read or listen to teachings all day and try to make it a delight unto Hashem.

I eat kosher and try to buy and cook kosher but it is a challenge living in an area that does not have any kosher groceries or restaurants. We bought all new pots and pans but don’t have a mikvah to immerse them in. I have several kosher cook books and plan to start using them more if I can find the kosher ingredients at the store.

8. How do you plan to continue your Jewish study?

I will continue to study the Torah every day and on Sabbath, continue reading other Jewish materials, continue and increase my prayer observance, keep listening to audio teachings and devote more time in reading the rest of the Tanach. I would like to get a women’s study group going once a month, possibly on Rosh Chodesh. I am praying diligently for a Rabbi to move to our area!

positive story

Hello, Rabbi Jonathan.

I once again have to say "todah!" to you for our conversion. It continues to enrich our lives.

My in-laws are selling their home, and had a garage sale today. We assisted them. Our kids decided to help by building and running a lemonade stand, where they sold lemonade, water, pop, and even some brownies. This attracted a great many folks to my in-laws' garage.

Robbie/Rafael wore his kipah the entire time, of course. :)

The best part is that our kids decided from the very start that all of the proceeds from their sales would go to charity. They decided that the charity should help orphans. They even put on their sign "all sales go to charity." This they decided all on their own, but the idea sprang from their tzedakah efforts.

Our kids have been generous in the past, but never more so as they've been since our conversion. Another great gift of Judaism is our ability to convey to them tikkun olam. They readily understand it when presented in a Jewish context, where before it seemed baseless and thus unnecessary.

The sense of duty our children have adopted - again, without dictate from us - gives me great hope for the future of the world, and the future of the Klal Israel.

Thank you again for a gift that will reverberate for generations to come.